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> [filk] Sayuri's Song, Kimiko
Ray Kremer
Posted: Jan 30 2008, 03:01 PM
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Now that the woman behind the mask has been revealed, I can finish up the germ of an idea I've had for a while. Came together rather quickly, though it's not especially complicated either. Yes, the whole thing is because I saw the brand name on Kumakuma's camera strap. These things come to me and I have to purge them from my mind in this manner.

user posted image

When I think back
On all the crap I learned in art school
It's a wonder I can draw at all
And though our lack of CubeSoft funding
Hasn't spelled the end
She's the one that keeps us standing tall

Kimiko
She gives us those coffee lap pours
She gives us the girl of just grays
Makes you think all your feelings are okay, oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to blog a photograph
So fanboys don't take my Kimiko away

If you took all the girls I drew
For other projects
Brought them all together in one game
I know they'd never match
the hype of the otaku
Everything sounds better with a voice

Kimiko
She gives us those coffee lap pours
She gives us the girl of just grays
Makes you think all your feelings are okay, oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to blog a photograph
So fanboys don't take my Kimiko away

Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away
Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away
Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away

Fanboys don't take my Kimiko
Fanboys don't take my Kimiko
Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away

Fanboys don't take my Kimiko
Her boyfriend is so far from home
Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away
Fanboys don't take my Kimiko

Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away

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Apologies to Paul Simon
No, I don't know why the worry of fanboys taking Kimiko away. I needed something with two syllables. tongue.gif

Older crap here, which does need to be updated with the other more recent stuff I've done.
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'zilla
Posted: Jan 30 2008, 03:34 PM
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Nice job. Big Paul Simon fan here. If he read MT (and for all I know he might) I think he'd be proud.
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Haldane
Posted: Jan 31 2008, 09:52 AM
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7 of 10 !!
Needed more rhyming, but you are forgiven.
You sometimes seem to have your syllable count off by one, but the problem could be me.
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Ray Kremer
Posted: Jan 31 2008, 03:56 PM
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QUOTE (Haldane @ Jan 31 2008, 09:52 AM)
Needed more rhyming, but you are forgiven.
You sometimes seem to have your syllable count off by one, but the problem could be me.

Yeah, game doesn't rhyme with voice. I decided to fudge it on that one since I was following closely with the original lyrics and those were the best replacements thematically. And syllable counts I often fudge when I absolutely can't avoid it as long as I can still sing it and it doesn't sound unreasonable.
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Greybeard
Posted: Jan 31 2008, 04:09 PM
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Another big Simon fan here--nice job. But does "Kimiko" in Japanese really have the accents on the first and third syllables?
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Haldane
Posted: Jan 31 2008, 04:43 PM
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Technically Japanese doesn't have any syllable stressing so we foreigners can put them where we want and one is roughly as strange as another. There is still some inflection in Japanese, but I don't understand it so can't describe it.
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'zilla
Posted: Feb 1 2008, 03:35 AM
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QUOTE (Greybeard @ Jan 31 2008, 04:09 PM)
Another big Simon fan here--nice job.  But does "Kimiko" in Japanese really have the accents on the first and third syllables?

As Haldane noted, Japanese doesn't have accents as such. A good while back, I asked where the accent fell in "Kimiko" (for a filk I was writing myself) and Pixiebell helpfully told me A) not to worry about it and B ) that Japanese has certain syllables that are higher in pitch, which is sort of equivalent (but not completely), but that there's no such thing as stressed syllables as English speakers understand them.

This post has been edited by 'zilla on Feb 1 2008, 03:36 AM
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Wavebird_Ocelot
Posted: Feb 1 2008, 09:43 AM
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QUOTE ('zilla @ Feb 1 2008, 03:35 AM)
[...] Japanese has certain syllables that are higher in pitch, which is sort of equivalent (but not completely), but that there's no such thing as stressed syllables as English speakers understand them.

In theory, it seems like one ought to place the stress where the higher pitch is, since that's the closest equivalent we have.

In practice, I, at least, change the location and even number of stresses depending on the meter, sometimes multiple times within the same work.

Yes, it's a very bush league maneuver, but that never stops anyone. wink.gif

On-topic, I also think it's a nice filk. happy.gif

QUOTE (Ray Kremer)
No, I don't know why the worry of fanboys taking Kimiko away.

She wants her for herself, and the fanboys (or stardom) may get in the way of that? I don't know how much Sayuri actually cares for Kimiko, but it's not like you totally pulled that line out of thin air.

QUOTE (Ray Kremer)
Older crap here, which does need to be updated with the other more recent stuff I've done.

Obligatory: there's also an archive of Ray's - and other people's - writings here.

This post has been edited by Wavebird_Ocelot on Feb 1 2008, 09:49 AM
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Ray Kremer
Posted: Feb 1 2008, 03:12 PM
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QUOTE ('zilla @ Feb 1 2008, 03:35 AM)
that Japanese has certain syllables that are higher in pitch, which is sort of equivalent (but not completely), but that there's no such thing as stressed syllables as English speakers understand them.

I don't really pretend to understand such things, but I do know that if you watch Witch Hunter Robin, the name "Sakaki" sounds quite different depending on which audio track you listen to. I would have said it was due to accenting the wrong syllable. Maybe as westerners understand syllable accenting, the Japanese really do it, but they don't use that concept and so don't notice it.

As for Kimiko, first and third syllables are the ones I've always accented, but I could be wrong. I think the most exposure to the name I've had was on the Xiaolin Showdown show on Kid's WB, and they routinely mispronounced it using a short I rather than a long E sound for one or both of the Is.
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Blowfish
Posted: Feb 4 2008, 01:07 AM
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In trying to sing the song I was struck by how hard it was to sing "Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away", even though the number of syllables match. I think the difficulty lies in how much easier it is to say "Mama" than "Fanboys". The only suitable replacement I can think of is "Mumu". That makes less sense than "Fanboys", but is easier to sing.

Anyway, nice job.
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Ray Kremer
Posted: Feb 4 2008, 01:52 PM
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QUOTE (Blowfish @ Feb 4 2008, 01:07 AM)
In trying to sing the song I was struck by how hard it was to sing "Fanboys don't take my Kimiko away", even though the number of syllables match. I think the difficulty lies in how much easier it is to say "Mama" than "Fanboys".

Actually, yeah. "Fanboys" has a lot more phonemes than "mama", so you're right.
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DrunkenSailor
Posted: Feb 5 2008, 03:27 PM
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This is great, but I think you should try-- "But my Kimiko" (parallels "but my kodachrome") as the first line instead of just "kimiko" Then changing the stresses and syllables when you sing it isn't so critical.

And maybe, "She gives us those Niiiiiice coffee lap poors" (Or maybe Hooot or something)
And, "Gives a pretty girl of just grays" ( or gorgeous girl, or gives us a virtual girl of just grays)

But my Kiiiii--miiii---ko
She gives us those Niiiiiiice coffee lap poors
She gives us our Virrrr---tual girl of just grays
Makes us think aaaallll our feeeelings are OK, Oh yeah.


Of course I guess this partly depends on how you hear the name Kimiko sounded out in your head when it's used normally in the comic and forums. A more or less inescapable problem with MT filks. Once you've read it to yourself a thousand times or so in the comic and forums it's hard to change.

I hear it "Ki.mi'.ko", accent on the mi. 'Ki' as in Kim; 'mi' as in me; and 'ko' as in co-ed and with my Michigan accent that usually reduces the first 'Ki' to just a "k".

Ah got m'self a Kmeeko blanket. Uh was gonna buy a Meeho blanket but Uh figured Ah'd hate t' haf to locket in the closit after watchen a scary movie. Speciallyfit's cold out. (Actually your average Midwesterner CAN speak better English than most of the rest of the country, its just that we usually don't. And we have a very significant, uh.. below average population group that only comes to town every four years to vote republican. They distort the curve.)

DS

Really enjoyed this. Found a midi to play while I read it wrapped in my Kmeeko blanket.
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Ray Kremer
Posted: Feb 6 2008, 12:44 PM
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QUOTE (DrunkenSailor @ Feb 5 2008, 03:27 PM)
This is great, but I think you should try-- "But my Kimiko" (parallels "but my kodachrome") as the first line instead of just "kimiko"

Where in the original song is there a "but my"? Actually if the refrain did start "but my kodachrome" it would make perfect sense, but I'm not hearing it there and it's not on any lyrics sheet I've seen.
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DrunkenSailor
Posted: Feb 7 2008, 11:14 AM
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QUOTE (Ray Kremer @ Feb 6 2008, 01:44 PM)
Where in the original song is there a "but my"? Actually if the refrain did start "but my kodachrome" it would make perfect sense, but I'm not hearing it there and it's not on any lyrics sheet I've seen.

Ok, checking....

Uh, yeah. Ok, right. I guess I remembered it wrong. Ooops. huh.gif

Look! Elvis! (runs away)

So I guess you gotta sing KimikooOOOOoooOOOO, huh. Well that works. And makes the pronunciation of Kimiko sort of unimportant since its mostly about the last syllable getting all stretched out. Yeah.

Oh well.

Still think having the next two lines like I put them works better though.

DS
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Ray Kremer
Posted: Feb 7 2008, 02:17 PM
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QUOTE (DrunkenSailor @ Feb 7 2008, 11:14 AM)
So I guess you gotta sing KimikooOOOOoooOOOO, huh.

Uh huh. Like "KodachroooOOOOOOoooome"

I fudge stuff when I think I'm better off that way, but never with the major lines of the song. Anyway, it was a quick effort, it's not as good a song conversion as some of the other filks I've done.
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